I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
