I think I am morally bankrupt
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
