they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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