I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
