:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
