He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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