so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
