either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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