Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
