Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
