I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
