That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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