I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
