"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
