So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
