Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
