There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
