no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
