PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
