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He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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