I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
