I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
