You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
