no. you can't hotbox the world.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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