I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
