Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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