just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize