he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
