Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
