Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
