Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
