I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
