So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I could fuck to npr.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
