woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
