Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
