i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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