i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
