the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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