I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
