I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
