Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
