You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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