so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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