How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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