yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
