My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
