fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
