Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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