He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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