I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
