Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
