Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
